this not auction: it's exorcism.
desperately want rid of computer if ebay accepted negative bids, pay take us. lucifer's laptop. satan's centrino. insidious inspiron. dell hell.
may bid if:
a) complete masochist
-or-
b) jesuit priest (and, yes, check.)
-or-
c) you're sadist lives torment evil flying monkeys. (see below)
note these requirements not mutually exclusive.
inspiron comes bottle of holy water st. monica's church, santa monica, california (this arnold schwarzenegger's church , if it's enough governator, it's enough you) , story.
why holy water? because you'll need , because don't want risk eternal damnation, either ours or yours.
, story? read on.
computer bought artist, has mac , happy long no 1 says word "d-e-double-hockeystick" in presence.
never worked her, called evil flying monkeys d-e-double-hockeystick tech support. told stupid. incompetent. worthless. evil, flying monkeys. evil, evil, evil. made cry.
, though had on-site support, refused come out , support it. apparently, weren't aware has little dog, too, that's story.
finally, after many phone calls , many tears, evil monkeys relented , came out. ended replacing motherboard. still didn't work. many phone calls , tears later, replaced hard drive. ram. video card.
months dragged on, brought in consultant, good, experienced consultant, of gentleman say, "told so, should have gotten mac". couldn't figure out how work her. evil flying monkeys told him didn't know doing.
mistake. didn't make him cry--they made him mad. ended fighting epic battle evil flying monkeys until relented , replaced whole computer.
threw in microsoft vista. on computer meant xp. it's thought counts, of course, , putting xp on under-specced machine flat out evil. expect evil flying monkeys. so, again, weary consultant went battle artist , defeated evil ones.
d-e-double-hockeystick has shipped artist brand new computer. again. 1 not turned on, not allowed in home or office, not looked at. because has mac now, dammit, , works.
if brave, , brave, braver consultant, or you're incredibly stupid, or possibly arrogant, or if you're way better @ handling d-e-double-hockeystick laptops flying monkeys are, means bid on computer. clear, brand new machine--the packing slip dated 7/13/07. may perfect in every respect or bear mark of beast.
don't weren't warned.
p.s. @ 1 point, d-e-double-hockeystick threw in 100 d-e-double-hockeystick dollars try bribe artist. artist wants them ever again. can't transfer tainted dollars, of course, can still spend them on behalf , have shipped you. so, consider part of package.
p.p.s. machine comes battery, cd-rw/dvd, windowsxp home, intel pro wireless, aol(!), netzero(!), , much, more! pretty possibly want on dell except apple logo.
p.p.p.s. model recalled year ago because batteries catching fire. irony much, no? not worry, unit manufactured after recall.
click expand...
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